I feel empowered today. I started taking plaquenil last Friday. It is the medication that my doctor prescribed. It is actually an anti-malarial drug but has been found to help treat certain auto-immune diseases. I have been very hesitant about taking this medication. I don't know why, but I have a funny feeling about it. These are the top reasons why:
- It is usually prescribed when other medications have not worked or cannot be used. Uh, this is the first medication I am trying. Why didn't the doctor have me try something else first?
- Since beginning the medication on Friday I have had a constant headache. That is one of the unpleasant side-effects.
- This line on the product information worries me a little: "Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects." I am pretty sure that I would rather deal with the effects of mixed autoimmune disease than the massive list of side effects.
- Since Saturday I have had back pain. Under side effects it says, "Tell your doctor immediately if any of these unlikely but serious side effects occur: arm/leg/back pain, etc." I don't want to jump the gun but I usually don't have back pain. It is not unbearable but it is definitely uncomfortable. I have to sleep in a certain position. If I move into another position I am automatically woken up by the pain and I re-adjust myself. I have to really brace myself when I get up from sitting. If I haven't walked in more than ten minutes, it takes me a few steps to get my back working again. I don't know if it is just a coincidence that I am experiencing back pain or if I should "Tell my doctor immediately." I am going to wait a little longer and see if it goes away.
- The doctor told me that I will be on this medication for the rest of my life. Once again, the prescription information says, "This medication may cause serious (sometimes permanent) eye problems or muscle damage, especially if you take it for a long time." This is why I had to go to the eye doctor before I could start the medication so that they can monitor my eyesight. The eye doctor said that many who have taken this medication for 40+ years start into macular degeneration. Because my Grandma has this I know how awful it is. It is definitely not something I would choose to have, especially when I am 60. Bleh.
So maybe I am overreacting a bit but I really still have a funny feeling about it. I know that it maybe could prevent the disease from worsening but it could also make things worse. I don't know what to do! I am so use to always doing what I am told because I always think that others know better than me, especially a doctor. I sometimes lose myself by always wanting to do what others tell me or in feeling like whatever I do needs to be "perfect". Well, today I made up my mind that I am going to stand-up for myself and I am just going to do my best. I can make decisions about things that I feel are best for me, especially by following the Spirit. I am going to question taking this medication. I am going to pray about it. I am going to see a doctor for a 2nd opinion. I am going to weigh the pros and cons. Just to let myself know that I am serious about all of this, after I got back from institute, I went in my room, closed the door, put on one of my new favorite songs ("Dancing in the Rain" by Hilary Weeks), and I painted. I gave myself permission to just paint how I felt. I didn't care if it was perfect. I just needed to release energy and let myself know that I am comfortable being me. It probably sounds a little tacky but I really feel empowered and like I let go of a lot of stress. I can't believe I am sharing the finished product with you (just remember that I did it within 10 minutes and I think it is quite ugly), but I just want to let you know that I am not going to try to be "perfect" anymore! I am going to do my best, and I hope you will do the same.
Sister friend. That's a lovely painting! I'm just sending hugs and solidarity and positive energy your way. I cannot express how much I support you taking initiative on this one and asserting your opinion. It's your body, your choice. When my spouse was diagnosed (well, as diagnosed as you can be with IBS) last fall, he was tested for possible other conditions and came back negative for Celiac's disease (where you can't eat wheat). So we explored all these other options. A year later we (FINALLY) sought another opinion, and guess what? Even if you test negative for Celiac's, you can still be sensitive to gluten / wheat! We've been off it a little over a week, and the change is PHENOMENAL! It's the first time in a year that I've really felt like I understood this illness, and it's the first time I've had real, solid, results-based hope. Information is power, and I think you're absolutely doing the right thing in seeking it out. And yeah, if it doesn't feel right, and you don't have faith in that kind of medicine, wouldn't it be less likely to have an effect? (I know that's a little hippie-ish, but seriously, faith opens up the doorway for possibility, and not trusting in a medication can be like the opposite of the placebo effect.) Anyway, just know that I (for one) think your decisions here are AWESOME! And I'm so glad you took time to reconnect with yourself tonight.
ReplyDeleteLauren1 sometimes I read your blog. I think you should totally tell your doctor. I even think you should ask for another prescription. Taking ALL YOUR LIFE a medicine with such side effects is not to been taken lightly (not that you do). If he thinks you should stay with it I say trying to find another doctor.
ReplyDeletestop taking that crap and do tell your doctor IMMEDIATELY, not wait a while. Honestly, do I, a dutch woman, have to tell you the meaning of the word immediately?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, please do seek for a second opinion, and a third and a fourth if necessary, until you find a treatment that you feel good about. go for it woman!!