He is beside us

There is so much I want to tell you but there is too little time tonight!  I am determined to be asleep by 10:30 for the big first day of school tomorrow.  You might be wondering how I feel about starting school: terrified.  I don't know why I have so much fear and anxiety and stress about this semester but I am trying to work through it.  It is my last and culminating semester so I guess I am justified a little but this stress and fear is beyond anything that I have felt before.  Usually I think to myself, "Yeah, this will be hard, but I can do it!"  Right now I am saying, "This will be hard and it seems almost impossible for me to do it."  What?!  Why do I have so little confidence!  As I knelt down to say my prayers just moments ago I found myself being open and honest with my Heavenly Father.  I expressed my gratitude for being blessed to be at this point in my life but I also expressed my fears and reservations.  As I pleaded for His help at this time, a calming and peaceful feeling flooded over me that let me know that the Savior is beside me and that He will remain there this whole semester if I will allow Him to stay.  He knows how I feel.  He knows how to help me.  He will not make it all easy, but He will make it possible.  I began to reflect on other times in my life when I knew that the Savior was beside me, even when I didn't really realize how much I needed Him. One experience in particular stood out to me.  It happened this past summer.  My sister-in-law, Kelly, had just delivered her fourth little baby boy.  It was such an exciting time for my brother, sister-in-law, and their little family.  There other three boys, Ryan, Landon, and Trevor, were staying with us for a few days while Kelly was in the hospital.  Ryan, 7, and Landon, 6, were sleeping in our library, and I was sleeping in the next room over with Trevor, 3.  Trevor was sleeping on the floor and I was in the bed.  I was in a deep sleep until all of a sudden, around 3 am, I heard someone yell out my name with a tone of urgency.  It startled me and I automatically sat up in bed yelling "What?!" back.  There was no reply but I was so shaken that I hopped out of bed to see who was trying to get my attention.  I ran into the room where Ryan and Landon were sleeping and they were sound asleep.  I then ran down the hall to Corbin's room and he was asleep.  I was getting more and more anxious to figure out what was going on.  Upon entering my parents room I said, "Mom!  Dad!  Did you yell for me?"  But they didn't even budge.  I was so confused.  I started to convince myself that I had only been dreaming as I walked back down the hallway to my room and crawled into bed.  Then a thought came to my mind, "You didn't check on Trevor."  I almost brushed the thought off but then got up and walked around to the other side of the bed where he had fallen asleep.  I could only see his little legs sticking out of the side of the bed.  While he was sleeping he had managed to wiggle the top half of his body under the bed.  That wasn't too alarming since the bed is high but when I pulled him out from under the bed I couldn't believe what I found.  The lamp cord that was all the way under the bed had somehow gotten around his neck.  It was not so tight that it was choking him but tight enough that if he moved much more it could have been fatal.  I quickly got him out from under the bed and situated where he was far from harm.  I realized that someone that I could not see had given me that warning so that I could help Trevor in that scary situation.  I laid there awake in bed for what seemed like a few hours being just overwhelmed at the love our Heavenly Father has for us.  He is aware of us.  He is beside us and desires to help us.  I just have to remember that now.  I know that I am going to see His hand in my life over the next few months and that my fears will be washed away.